Makin up w make up

I roll my eyes and gurgle my saliva at the myriad of beauty tips for women. Perfect brows, pumped lips, hair extensions – who can seriously be fucked with all that? A whole lotta folk apparently! A whole mess of them! (The collective noun for beauty techs is a mess!) There is so much precision to details, layers upon layers of make-up, tweezing, picking, plumping. 

I’ve done my fair share mind you! Sweating through layers of base moisturiser, concealer, reflective under eye stuff (being a wog and a beauty noob I have dark circles under my eyes I have no idea what to do with!!), foundation, bronzer and blush (yup that’s just the face fellas!) falsies, lip plumpers (the lip gloss kind – let’s not get too excited!), eye liner, eye shadow, brow liner, brow shadow, contouring etc etc etc my fingers are tired from typing this! Bahhh and my skin would clot with the layers of bullshit I put on my face. And I still only did this on special occasions! So maybe that’s why I notice the feeling of make up on my face - I rarely wear it! 

Also as a teen and now a young adult, my skins generally ok (it’s currently been attacked by the hormones of changing to a new pill #hatemyfaceatm) so I never felt the need to cover it up – AND I had witnessed some atrocities regarding early make up application from my friends and I thought that it was best to stay away from the brown panda look. The subliminal messaging from my childhood was that ‘make up is for the stage’ so every time I put it on I just want to pirouette! Wheeeeeeeeeeeee to the #facepalm of many of my friends. 

There’s something to be said for natural beauty products. Someone has said something about them right? *gurgle* *eye roll* I haven’t tried them all out but a logical assumption would be keep them natural and don’t ever hurt animals coz I will find you #veganfortheanimals 

The beauty and detriment of not often wearing make up is that your skin is able to breathe and people around you get used to your natural look. So when you do wear make-up everyone’s like ‘Oo gurl you look so fine’ ‘What have you been up to lately you cheeky minx?’ ‘Whoa what’s on your face?’ ‘Your face looks different…’ ‘Oh your eyebrows are big’. The detriment is that you get all the boys/gurls! They just flock and flock and choke you and you can’t breathe and die. True story. I am a ghost. 

But to those girls who do put in the effort, and layer that shit up… you look… fucking great! E’ryday! And a logical assumption is that you also look fucking great in your ‘jammies!! #showusyahjammies!! 

The moral of this story? Do whatever the fuck you want. I like feeling fancy free all over mah bod-ay including my face and sprinkle a bit of make up on just to freak people out/turn them on/coz I #hatemyfaceatm. 


-Helena



Some funny’s: What A Girl's Makeup Means - Jenna Marbles

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